


Just Deserts

by 2_out_of_3



Series: Not This (But... Something Like This) [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Gen, spoilers for 1x08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 13:17:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8846557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2_out_of_3/pseuds/2_out_of_3
Summary: Maybe he deserves this, Todd doesn't know what he deserves anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, this show is officially my new fave. I just binged all eight episodes in like a day, lol. So now I've got all these feeeelings I don't know what to do with, especially about Todd. So I sat down, started writing, and this is the result. I checked and double checked for mistakes, but it's not beta read, so if you notice any errors please let me know!

 

> **Just Deserts:** _To be punished or rewarded in a manner appropriate to one's actions or behavior_  

 

\---

 

Pain. Intense, fiery, pain. The kind you'd feel if your flesh was literally burning off your body. That's all Todd Brotzman could feel. Figuratively speaking, of course. He knew it wasn't real. He also knew that didn't mean shit.

 

'The irony.' Todd thought.

 

'I guess I can't say I didn't have this coming. Is this what Amanda goes through every day? God, no wonder she hates me; I really am a _shitty_ brother.'

 

'No, wait; there was a call... right? From...from... ** _Fuck_** , this hurts! Amanda, it was Amanda. She's in trouble. I've got to, to just... something, I don't know. Jesus, I sound like Dirk.'

 

'I've got to get up, this isn't real; I've got to get _up._ " He repeated, hoping maybe if he said it enough times he might- that his _brain_ might believe it.

 

He could barely hear his sister's voice through the receiver. He couldn't hear it at all before, so that's progress.

 

'Focus Todd.' He told himself. 'Focus on that.'

 

It felt like forever, maybe it was. What was it Dirk said? That he could 'spend a whole day without even trying.'

 

Either way, as suddenly as it started, it stopped.

 

With shaky hands, Todd reached for his phone, screen cracked from when it was dropped.

 

"Amanda?" He said, a slight tremor in his voice.

 

"Todd!? Todd, oh my god! Are you okay? I heard you screaming! Are those creepy military guys there too?"

 

"I..." Todd started.

 

Wait.

 

'I can't tell her.' He thought. 'I really can't tell her, can I? Even if she believed me, which she won't, all she's probably going to tell me is what I already know. That I deserve this, that this is what I get for lying to her. To our parents. To everyone.'

 

_She's not wrong._

 

"It's fine, I'm fine Amanda. I... wait, what military guys?"

 

"These guys just showed up out of nowhere with a crap ton of weapons, I think they were after them, the Rowdy 3."

 

Todd sat up. "Oh my god, are you OK!?"

 

"Yeah, yeah; I'm fine. Me and Vogle, we got away. Martin knew, I don't know how but they all knew. He sent us away, told me and Vogle to run, the rest stayed to hold them off." She said, still sounding out of breath.

 

"Wait, if they're after them then that means..."

 

"Dirk." Todd and Amanda said simultaneously.

 

Todd got to his feet and rushed back to their table, stumbling a few times.

 

"They're gone; Farah and Dirk, they aren't here!" He started for the door.

 

"Amanda, I..."

 

"Go."

 

Todd faltered, confused "What?"

 

"Go.” She said. “Find them. You find them and then you call me, OK? They're our friends Todd. They're _your_ friends. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Just find out what the hell is going on."

 

"But-"

 

"Todd, you can do this. You're the bad-ass partner of a psychic detective, remember?"

 

"Right." Todd replied with an amused huff. "Be careful, Amanda."

 

"You too."

 

That was that, he supposed. He stepped outside and saw Farah at the end of the street, no Dirk in sight.

 

It didn't take a detective, psychic, holistic, or otherwise to figure out what happened.

 

'I'm too late, they took him...' He thought.

 

Amanda was right, he wasn't proud of it, but before he met Dirk, he didn't _have_ any friends. Now, because of him, he had two. He, Todd Brotzman who had lied and hurt the people he cared about, now has two people who knows all that and **_still_** gladly calls him their friend.

 

He doesn't deserve that. He honestly doesn't know what he deserves anymore. What he does know is that Dirk is missing and they need; _he_ needs to find him.

 

The Pararibulitis will have to wait, there should still be some extra medication at Amanda's. He hopes. He'll need to grab that before anything.

 

He won't say anything to Farah. He can't; not yet anyways. He'll deal, he hardly has the right to complain after all. He knows that, _of course_ he knows that. Maybe he's just too chicken shit to bring himself to say something, maybe he doesn't want to hear what he already knows, maybe he doesn't want...

 

Maybe he deserves this, that doesn't mean he isn't scared. He is. He's fucking _terrified_ , and he has no idea what he's going to do; none. But that's not, and Todd can't believe he's thinking this, but that's not **_important_**.

 

Dirk was taken, _that's_ what's important, that's the priority right now. That's what matters.

 

Maybe he deserves this, Todd doesn't know what he deserves anymore. But there's one person he knows doesn't deserve what's happening. He may not know where to start, but he won't stop until he finds him.

 

Because that's what **_he_** deserves.

 

 


End file.
